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Online dating monogamy

Is Online Dating A Threat To Monogamy? The Atlantic Says No.,What's Related

This question was touched on in the first article “A Million First Dates: How Online Dating is Threatening Monogamy” however I don’t feel the article really answered the question but was  · On the heels of mobile app- and online-dating driven hookup culture, which prized a very loose form of non-monogamy where people barely formed attachments at all, these  · Online dating is threatening monogamy. Monogamy has perpetuated the idea of people as sexual property and contributed to overpopulation. What is the problem again?  · Next on the list of words that kill your online dating profile is one that everyone THINKS is a good thing, but really isn’t something you should mention – monogamy. You’re ... read more

Sorry, friends. Or, someone you are very close to has had their heart broken as a result of cheating. Remember that your first goal on a dating site is to get someone to write to you. The people who are going to give your profile a raised eyebrow are those who are always monogamous.

The very people you want to date!! Did her last boyfriend cheat? Is she damaged goods? Pull the monogamy reference from your profile. I am: Straight Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Asexual Couple Group. You are a trooper. I ran into an endless stream of randos who want to molest me. They don't even want to know me, just touch me. It's gross and I'm done, and planning a Golden Girls retirement.

I've lost all hope. posted by discopolo at PM on January 29, [ 4 favorites ]. An immature ostensible adult is unable to manage his own desires in face of temptation? OBVIOUSLY the internet is at fault rather than human nature or a lack of self-reflection! This is the most words with the least content I have ever read, and I have graded college philosophy papers.

Also: "Another online-dating exec hypothesized an inverse correlation between commitment and the efficiency of technology.

I do and did. I am actually quite curious to know, if I were miraculously transformed back to college age, what KIDZ2DAY would make of me if I acted toward women the way I think gentlemen ought to act. Would I be thought incomprehensible? I went to hear the Venice Baroque Orchestra yesterday, and I would certainly have gone at 'smy kinda thing.

I wore a coat and tie, as I would certainly have done at I would love to have had a female accomplice on this outing. In a farking dress , please. As Roger Angell observed once in the New Yorker , the vast majority of occasions for pleasant social intercourse between men and women take place with our clothes on. posted by jfuller at PM on January 29, [ 2 favorites ]. things are SO SO SO different now. it's all sex all the time. You could watch the show Girls for a glimpse, or you could come talk to my friend who is a junior high school guidance counselor on Long Island.

posted by spicynuts at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. Oh, see, this is part of it, cause once upon a time I was like "Oh noes I must impress this guy what if he doesn't liiiiike me," and now I'm just like "Hi dude! Here's me, and what's your deal? Oh, you're gonna be weird and gross like all those other dudes? Ok, toodles! This would be more of a problem for me if I could actually get dates off OkCupid. I made a few friends off the site but once I gained a few pounds I turned invisible.

I'm pretty jealous of people who go on enough dates to have a choice. posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at PM on January 29, [ 2 favorites ]. Online dating is threatening monogamy. Monogamy has perpetuated the idea of people as sexual property and contributed to overpopulation. What is the problem again? posted by tripping daisy at PM on January 29, [ 3 favorites ].

Seems like so much pearl-clutching. posted by adamrice at PM on January 29, I'm pretty monogamous by nature in part because I could never muster the energy to have more than one relationship, so it's mostly about my comfort and less about seeing my partner as property.

Note, I know that polygamy isn't the only non-monogamous relationship arrangement, but it seems to be the more common one globally. Put the poly outrage away, I get it. posted by Kitty Stardust at PM on January 29, [ 5 favorites ]. I keep hearing online dating has become a much more viable way to meet nice people than when it first started. When I tried online dating about ten years ago, it was a fantastic way to meet horny, damaged people who lied about their age, occupation, weight, and relationship status.

posted by DirtyOldTown at PM on January 29, [ 4 favorites ]. I'm in my mid-twenties and my single friends' dating lives are definitely not "all sex all the time. posted by Aizkolari at PM on January 29, [ 2 favorites ]. Anecdata to the extreme, but online dating encouraged me to start trying to seek out long-term commitment.

After being one of those monogamy is for sheeple and sell-outs, maaaaaan! douchebags for roughly half my life, it took precisely two 2 OK Cupid dates for me to decide that a my burgeoning faith in humanity has been all but destroyed and b it turns out that what the sheeple are doing is what I want to do, too.

Unfortunately, without a real-life version of OKC's handy-dandy sorting mechanism, there is no way for me to know which men are willing to date a permanently nulliparous woman. After the OKC nightmare, I went on a semi-blind date where an otherwise very attractive, nice, intelligent, promising dude waited several hours to pull the good old "So, when do you think you might want to start raising a family?

He dumped me on the spot -- like, "Check, please! Good luck in all your future endeavors! Fare thee well! can all the childfree dudes out there there's more than one or two of you, right?

maybe start wearing buttons depicting, perhaps, a diaper covered with a big red X or something? I am fairly terrified of navigating the dating world at age 30 knowing that most men around my age -- and indeed, most humans; pesky biological imperative -- are going to want to have children, and this is a major stumbling block en route to my selling out. posted by divined by radio at PM on January 29, [ 6 favorites ].

Ok, back after having RTFA. Jacob sounds like a dud. posted by Kitty Stardust at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. That article cracked me and my partner up - The Atlantic isn't even bothering with a veneer of respectability these days; it's classic tabloid moral panic. I love that the guy they picked as somehow representative is basically a colossal asshole, and has the temerity to blame online dating for his being a complete tool. Additionally the idea that "people stayed in shitty, unhappy relationships before!

Everything was better! God forbid the Atlantic, I don't know, look at some census data, and stuff, try to make a case using evidence and the like. That would be too close to actual journalism. posted by smoke at PM on January 29, [ 9 favorites ]. I'm being imprecise with my words.

I'm pretty sure I was talking about marriage and not monogamy anyway, serial monogamists that I know seem to have less desire to have children. There is less pressure to settle down and pop out kids in their twenties because they're having a great time boning people and not having kids.

Combine that with safe sax and birth control measures and we are at our lowest birthrate in recorded history. Less traditional relationships, less children, more boning, more chance at surviving the 21st Century I don't see too much wrong with the way we do consensual relationships in the States.

People who want an online meat market know where to go. Christian singles know where to go. eHarmony is there for people who want to get married and can endure the apparently miserable application process. What is wrong is the focus on sex and physical appearance on some of the sites, and sure, having a box for your ideal height and eye color can quickly turn things superficial.

But humans are superficial. In A Time Before The Internet I knew people who had very specific requirements about eye color, income, height, and so on. There's a little magic lost in excluding the love of your life because they didn't put their income level in, but if you're already excluding by those criteria, you probably aren't interested in magic, and that's cool.

I think most people get what they want out of those sites that's why they signed up and continue using it. Related: I decided to see if there was a stoner dating website. There is. And it's running a little behind schedule. The proprietor is not pleased. posted by tripping daisy at PM on January 29, [ 2 favorites ]. True, but they don't also walk the dog, diaper the kids, take out the garbage, fix the car, work a full time job, and remember birthdays and anniversaries.

You're rare. An awful lot of women have to do all that and more, while working full-time without participation from husband, even if husband works a full-time job. It's rare to find a real partner. Even so, the wife will always get stuck doing more, investing more, and expending more energy, without much of a guarantee of full partnership or lifelong commitment.

It's not a whole lot easier to find childfree women. So whether you possess a Y chromosome or not, it's good to ask yourself if the person you're talking to is committed to being childfree, or if they're essentially saying, "Oh that's just so far away, I can't POSSIBLY imagine myself as a parent. As a sidenote, I was always annoyed by the profile options OKC gave me for "Children". Like, my choices were : "I have children", "I like children", or "I don't like children". But saying "I don't like children" makes me feel so heartless -- even though it's completely true!

Why can't they just give you a "Children are okay I guess, I just don't want any of my own" option? posted by Afroblanco at PM on January 29, [ 5 favorites ]. Check your friendzone. Not a snarky suggestion.

posted by tripping daisy at PM on January 29, As a sidenote, I was always annoyed by the profile options OKC gave for "Children".

Like, your choices are : "I have children", "I like children", or "I don't like children". How does anyone know if they even want kids without sizing up the partner they're with? I'd have kids if I found the right partner, but not if I didn't think my partner didn't have the right temperament to be a father.

Ugh, we put men in the friend zone because the thought of having sex with them makes us barf. How is this so hard for guys to understand? posted by discopolo at PM on January 29, [ 10 favorites ]. No, I didn't RTFA beacuse it's from the Fucking Atlantic.

Why does every article from that rag seem to make it here? posted by repoman at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. Perhaps divined by radio has a friendzone with more criteria than "makes me want to barf when naked.

Because that's what being childfree means? I don't want children ever ever ever, not with anyone. posted by Violet Hour at PM on January 29, [ 8 favorites ]. And she could always get drunk beforehand.

That might help. bl1nk : but the most entertaining for me was Amanda Hess' takedown at Slate. That one's pretty on-target she points out the original article relies on interview with a miniscule pool of male-only online daters - one, in fact. Here's a better criticism: Not one single datum was revealed in the article to support the thesis. There are vague allusions to "experts" and "studies", but without tangible references that's just another way of saying "I asked both of my coworkers.

posted by IAmBroom at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. From now on, The Atlantic should change all its headlines to BUY OUR MAGAZINE YOU STOOGES. posted by Rustic Etruscan at PM on January 29, I'm still waiting for the Atlantic article about how reading relationship articles in the Atlantic is the 1 threat to heterocentric breeder monogamous relationships. posted by Skwirl at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. Because this as a whole feels like snark.

The friend zone is a myth made up by bitter beta guys who didn't have the balls to ask a girl out, get rejected and move on with their lives. posted by Talez at PM on January 29, [ 3 favorites ]. In fact, your relationship patterns can look practically the same as it would look in a monogamous relationship only without the lying and deception.

I have quite a few monogamous friends my age who I met back in college, but I'm the one with the longest active relationship and at 7 years and two years and counting for my other live-in relationships, I am doing pretty well there too, considering. I find that I have learned a lot more about finding and maintaining healthy relationships in general by not being monogamous. It's not all about playing the field. It's more about being honest to who you are as a human being.

posted by markkraft at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. This thread is sounding more and more like a fratire brainstorming session. posted by tripping daisy at PM on January 29, [ 5 favorites ]. discopolo said " in the friend zone because the thought of having sex with them makes us barf. Then I have a friend who put his wife in the friendzone. posted by surplus at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. You don't have to be a frat boy to not want to join in the latest sad meeting of "Lonely Hearts Anonymous".

Some of us figured out that women aren't responsible for our own romantic misdaventures and grew up out of silly shit like the Friend Zone and the Ladder Theory. Then we chilled out, looked around and grew relationships out of common interests and mutual attraction instead of pining longingly for an idealized version of an unrequited crush.

posted by Talez at PM on January 29, [ 6 favorites ]. discopolo: How does anyone know if they even want kids without sizing up the partner they're with? Quoted because I thought I was the only one who thought this way. Could we drop the friendzone derail and get back to the "how much The Atlantic sucks" derail, because I've still got more material.

It should be all about two people in love and faithful to one another forever and ever. Why would stating you want that be a bad thing? Sorry, friends. Or, someone you are very close to has had their heart broken as a result of cheating. Remember that your first goal on a dating site is to get someone to write to you. The people who are going to give your profile a raised eyebrow are those who are always monogamous. The very people you want to date!!

Did her last boyfriend cheat? Is she damaged goods? Pull the monogamy reference from your profile. I am: Straight Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Asexual Couple Group. I live in: United States Canada United Kingdom Australia Brazil China France Germany India Indonesia Ireland Italy Japan Korea Malaysia Mexico Morocco New Zealand Philippines Russia South Africa South Korea Spain Sweden Switzerland Thailand Vietnam International.

Looking for: Any Activity Partner Casual Dating Friends Long-Term Marriage Penpal. Home Online Dating Profiles. At least not most of the time! Search Search. advanced search. Search advanced search.

Words that Kill your Online Dating Profile: monogamy,You might also like

 · On the heels of mobile app- and online-dating driven hookup culture, which prized a very loose form of non-monogamy where people barely formed attachments at all, these  · Online dating is threatening monogamy. Monogamy has perpetuated the idea of people as sexual property and contributed to overpopulation. What is the problem again?  · Next on the list of words that kill your online dating profile is one that everyone THINKS is a good thing, but really isn’t something you should mention – monogamy. You’re This question was touched on in the first article “A Million First Dates: How Online Dating is Threatening Monogamy” however I don’t feel the article really answered the question but was ... read more

I think most people get what they want out of those sites horny, damaged people who lied about their age, occupation, weight, and relationship status. Online dating is threatening monogamy. posted by Sternmeyer at PM on January 29, [ 5 favorites ]. I don't want children ever ever ever, not with anyone.

posted by Kurichina at PM on January 29, [ 1 favorite ]. You know, I totally understand the impulse of "People are attracted to me and I used to not feel attractive, so online dating rocks! posted by postcommunism at PM on January 29, [ online dating monogamy favorite ]. I wore a coat and tie, as I would certainly have done at Totally objective here, I promise.

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